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Later at the layover hotel, they get married in a makeshift setting, officiated by Greg and witnessed by most of Matt's relatives who had also failed to reach Mexico. In "9th Short of Christmas", Lark receives a playhouse formerly a metal dog cage after her parents realize that the very large dog that was going to be a gift for her was unsuitable. Type what you hear: Retrieved January 9, Retrieved January 22, The Daily News Flash Newsletter.
So soon, using little bits of cheese as treats, he had taught Jilli how to do a range of little moves. And then a friend asked if she could do any card tricks. At 16, Jilli is going blind and deaf, and has retired from the show circuit. She passed on her poker-playing title to Ruby, who proudly plays in front of crowds of all sorts. Her companion Spidey, a sleepy-looking white Chihuahua, often accompanies her to demonstrate his own skills. Together, the team hopes to convince more families to adopt rescue dogs.
Their show at City Tails was in support of the organization, a pet food company co-owned by talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that aims to help pets in need. While not every dog may be ready for the high-stakes casino tables, Caran insists that any dog can be taught something. And, he notes, that familiar adage is wrong:. Ruby, the successor to Caran's original poker-playing pooch Jilli, demonstrates her skills to the crowd. Courtesy of Rick Caran. And, he notes, that familiar adage is wrong: On a mobile device?
Pregnant", after Greg and Jen discuss possibly having another child, they are visited by a stork. Johnny Flyer Black", John tries to make himself look younger by dyeing his hair black, much to the dismay of the family.
Sophia's Piano Recital", Heather worries that Sophia's piano recital will be a disaster. Invisible Rainbows", Jen, Greg and Lark go to an over-the-top "6-month birthday" party for Wilhelm full of overachieving parents who make them panic about getting Lark into a good preschool. Later, Colleen breaks up with Matt. What's Wrong With Heather? Lemonade", after John's new pet, a Shetland pony named Lemonade, ends up being unsuitable for their home, Joan gets him a Yorkie named Tank.
Later, a rat is shown dragging away Greg's signed Playboy magazine. War", John and Joan disagree with their neighbors, Darryl J. Smoove and Pam Pam Trotter , about who gets to use the hot tub when new property lines are drawn. Famine", Matt and Colleen make an effort to be friends. Death", John's heart stopped beating for 15 seconds during his minor nose surgery that Tim performed. Senior Prank", a drunk Heather and Tim switch letters around on a sign at Tyler's school, which causes trouble for Tyler.
Chewing Gum", Sophia gets gum stuck in her hair at Joan's house. Puppy Love", John and Colleen secretly meet together along with their dogs at a dog park. A "Cinderella Story", Tim believes wearing a Cinderella dress during March Madness is good luck, so he refuses to take it off in hopes that his alma mater 's basketball team, the Gophers of Mount St.
Prom Night", before Tyler goes to the prom , he receives unsolicited advice from his parents and grandparents regarding sex.
At the prom, when Clementine gives Tyler a purity ring , he responds by asking her to marry him. Later, Matt and Colleen get back together. CryTunes", Greg quits his job after creating a public funding campaign for his own invention, the "CryTunes" baby monitor that turns sounds of baby crying into soothing music.
Also, Jen learns that she is pregnant. Divorce", John and Joan reveal a secret they've kept from their kids for 35 years: Ring", Matt's plan to pop the question to Colleen at their book party keeps getting delayed by several family revelations: However, he does successfully propose to Colleen in his parent's bathroom. Moving In", Heather attempts to convince Tyler and Clementine to annul their sudden marriage.
Moving Out", after Matt moves in with Colleen, Colleen's obnoxious roommate Dougie challenges Matt to a wrestling match over whether she will move out. Pill", John is hospitalized with an unusually long-lasting erection after taking erectile medication, unaware that Joan was already regularly crushing one into his smoothies.
Baby Shower", the family must quickly call off a surprise baby shower for Jen after learning that she miscarried.
Receptionist", Tim's receptionist quits, so Heather, who is just visiting the office, takes over; Tim enjoys it for a day, but is not pleased when Heather decides she wants the job permanently. Joan's Friend, Herb", Joan is talked into trying marijuana to help with her insomnia.
Voting", Greg, who has never voted in a presidential election, decides he will do so to get Jen off his back, but things change when he sees the line at the polling place is too long. Cramped", Colleen is taken to the hospital with stomach pains, and it is revealed she hasn't done a "number two" since Matt moved in a week ago.
Take a Brow", Tim accidentally shaves off part of an eyebrow before an important photo shoot at work, and all attempts to correct the problem just make it worse. Anonymous", Greg uses his share from the will of Gigi, Joan's recently deceased mother, to make an anonymous donation to his old high school track team, but gets annoyed when the team gives Matt the credit.
Home Sweet Nursing Home", John goes to Gigi's nursing home to pick up her things, and is unable to leave when the employees assume he is a resident. Gigi in the Sky with Diamonds", Joan fulfills Gigi's dying wish to have her ashes made into a gemstone, but finds she cannot wear the finished jewelry without hearing her mother's nagging voice. Colleen Returns", Colleen gets Matt interested in her frugal habits, including returning old items for a refund and shopping at dollar stores, when he finds out how much saving money turns her on.
Hughes the Boss", Tim wants to fire Heather from the receptionist position at the office, but manages to promote her instead, before having Matilda Karen Lew of the HR department fire her. Take Me to the Pilot", John tries to ease Sophia's fear of flying by tricking her into taking ride in his single-engine plane. Lark's First Birthday", Jen plans a small first birthday party for Lark before deciding it should be a bigger deal and inviting the whole family over at the last minute.
Dinner Party", Tyler and Clementine invite Matt and Colleen over for their first dinner party as husband and wife, but it becomes awkward when the hosts start to argue. Joan's Novel Idea", Joan's young creative writing teacher, Professor Sinclair Wilde Cary Elwes , takes an interest in her work, but John suspects the professor really has a romantic interest in his wife.
Baby Steps", Lark takes her first steps while Greg is out of town, so Jen tries to hide it from her husband. Ladies' Night", Dougie comes out as gay to Colleen and Matt, and later has Colleen, Jen and Heather join her at a gay bar to help her pick up a woman for the first time. Boxing", instead of dropping Samantha off at ballet class, John takes her to his gym to box with his trainer, Troy Victor Ortiz , but he gets jealous when she is a natural at boxing and commands all the attention.
Second Opinion", Jen angers Tim after he recommends getting her tonsils removed and she goes to another doctor for a second opinion. Joan Scares Matt", Joan plays a prank by scaring Matt again with a fake spider, and both Greg and Heather reveal she has enjoyed scaring them in the past. The three then plot to get revenge on their mom. Beard", Jen tries to convince Greg to shave off his recently grown beard, but nothing works until Lark vomits into it and Greg can't wash out the stench.
Sink Or Swim", Matt wants to go snorkeling in Hawaii for his and Colleen's honeymoon, but Colleen says she's never learned to swim. Survivor", John is making a video audition for Survivor with Tim's assistance, but Tim tries to turn it into his own audition. Zen Jen", Jen tells the group she's taken up meditation, but it's really just an excuse to steal away for 20 minutes of "me" time whenever she needs.
The Talk", Sophia's curiosity about babies inspires Heather to give her "the talk", but afterwards, Sophia can't stop talking about sex, even in inappropriate situations. Dress Rehearsal", when Colleen goes wedding dress shopping with her future in-laws, she must deal with Joan's unfiltered opinions. Saying Grace", when Clementine feels she's overstaying her welcome at the Hughes house, she starts being extra nice to Tim who takes it the wrong way;.
At John and Joan's party celebrating the turn of the century, John convinces everyone present that there will be chaos when the clock strikes midnight. Heather and Tim's parenting styles before they had Sophia. TBT Matt's Bottom" The moment that Greg and Colleen first met. Sam's School Play", Heather freaks out when Samantha auditions for the high school musical and the director, Julius Black Andy Richter , doesn't give her a part.
Tyler and Clementine Can't Even", using 10 brand new credit cards, Tyler and Clementine buy a "tiny house" of their own to live in. Tailgating", when Colleen and Matt host the family tailgate party at an L. Downward Spiral", Greg wins a chance to participate in a halftime contest involving a football toss. Sophia's Choice", Tim's in danger of missing the game when Sophia makes him take her to the restroom and they get sidetracked returning to their seats.
Seating Arrangement", Joan and Jen try to sneak into seats closer to the field. Second Best Man", when Greg insists on being Matt's best man at his wedding, Matt is forced to reveal his secret about their plans for eloping.
Splitting Hairs", Colleen refers Jen to her aggressive bikini waxer, Tittianna Annie Sertich , in order to get a referral discount. Miss Independent", Joan tries to prove to Heather that Sophia is ready for a little independence. Slow Pokes", John and Joan join Facebook so they can stay connected to the kids. Derek", Heather manically tries to save Sophia's beloved goldfish, Derek, from dying. Wedding Plans", Matt and Colleen realize how out of control planning a wedding can get after meeting with their offbeat wedding planner, Ned Gawler Lyle Lovett.
Backstage", when Tim gets two all-access passes to the Grammy Awards from his rock star patient, Charlie Puth , he brings Samantha along to backstage of the show to impress her. Party of Two", a restaurant dinner originally for four gets awkward for Jen and Matt without Greg and Colleen.
Wine Bra", Heather and Tim try to sneak wine into an ice skating show to get out of paying at the venue. Future House", Lark accidentally locks out Greg and Jen from the house, prompting Greg to have a complicated home automation system installed.
Ordained", when Colleen mentions that she's an ordained minister, John and Joan agree to an impromptu wedding. During the wedding rehearsal, John and Joan decide they prefer living together as partners and they cancel the wedding. Hughes Prepared", Tim has the kids go through an impromptu earthquake drill to see if they could figure out how to get home without money or cell service. Sleepover", Tim regrets missing a slumber party when he was a kid so he insists on helping Sophia make it through a friend's sleepover.
Jen Had a Dream", Greg gets upset when Jen reveals she had a sex dream about a member of the family. Sensor and Sensibility", John installs a motion-sensor light in the yard that flashes repeatedly, keeping them up at night.
Full Moon Madness", when Matt and Colleen take a strong sleep aid, they start experiencing crazy sleepwalking adventures. Playing Favorites", Greg becomes frazzled when Lark rebuffs him and only wants to be held by Jen.
Heather Gives In", Heather refuses to get the reading glasses that she desperately needs. Father's Blessing", Colleen introduces Matt to her eccentric father, Miguel Daniel Zacapa , so he can get his blessing for their upcoming nuptials. Mikey's Girlfriend", when Cousin Mikey Greg Grunberg goes through a tough breakup, Joan tries to set him up on a date. Babysitting", Matt and Colleen have a disastrous time babysitting Lark while Jen is at work.
Later, Tim and Heather use this method when they rehash an old fight from the early days of their relationship. The Entrepreneurs", Greg gives Samantha questionable advice about being an entrepreneur for her school project. The Butterfly Effect", Sophia is far from pleased when John buys her a butterfly kit for her birthday. Colleen's Web", when Colleen goes to Tim for help with an embarrassing ear ailment, she begs him not to tell the family. Queen J", Heather gets jealous when her friends want to include Jen in their mommy group.
Airport Rush", Heather and Tim run into countless obstacles when trying to get to the airport on time. Fly Baby", when Greg and Jen take Lark on her first airplane trip, their parental skills are upstaged by another couple travelling with their baby.
Not-Rushin' Roulette", Matt and Colleen miss their flights when they accept travel vouchers for airline credits. Baking A Murderer", Greg and Jen get into trouble after Greg shares a coconut cookie with a fellow plane passenger, Max Mark Beltzman , who has a severe allergic reaction to it. For Better Or For Worse", when Colleen and Matt miss all the flights to Mexico for their wedding, they question if they will ever get married.
Later at the layover hotel, they get married in a makeshift setting, officiated by Greg and witnessed by most of Matt's relatives who had also failed to reach Mexico.
Afterwards when Colleen and Matt are next to a balcony railing, it breaks, causing her to fall into the hotel pool far below. Settlement", Matt and Colleen's are set to receive a huge monetary settlement from Colleen's fall off the motel balcony on their wedding night.
Their spending spree ends when they are told about the motel's filing for bankruptcy. Hide and Sophia", John tries to get Sophia back on track when she starts misbehaving. Out of Sync", Tyler and Clementine announce that they have filed for divorce but will still be living together. By Any Other Name", when Jen invites her boss, Paul Andy Buckley , and his wife Julie Chen over to dinner to impress him, she and Greg can't remember his wife's name and scramble to avoid embarrassment.
Tyler Moves On", Tim urges Tyler to start dating. Matt's Dream", Matt ends up having a nightmare about parenting after he and Colleen discuss having children.
Joansin' for a Drink", Joan grows increasingly stressed about Heather living with her. X Marks the Spot", when Heather finds a map to a time capsule she buried with her brothers as kids, they all set out to find it and dig it up. The Pick-Up Artist", Jen learns she has a low car passenger service rating so she books rides across the city to charm drivers and increase her score. Queens are Wild", Joan joins her neighbor's poker game in an effort to win an unusual prize.
Hear and Loathing", John finally gets hearing aids but they aren't having the effect he was hoping for. T", Greg has a boost of self-confidence after learning he has high levels of testosterone. Joan's Day Off", when Heather, Clementine and Jen offer to save Joan from the stress of preparing the Thanksgiving meal, the free time leaves Joan even more stressed out. Baked With Love", Samantha tries to keep a secret from her family during Thanksgiving dinner.
Knife of the Round Table", John is determined to continue the tradition of using his "Electric Carving Knife" even though it is now old and unsafe to carve the turkey.
Boccone", when Tim and Heather go to an expensive restaurant to celebrate their anniversary, they are determined to finish every bite of their pricey course meal. Potty Training Lark", Jen and Greg try to quickly potty-train Lark before her first day of preschool. Waffle Party", Matt and Colleen regret returning their wedding presents unopened for cash when they learn that John and Joan had stuffed their gift's box full of cash.
Permission", when Heather tries to become Tyler's cool best friend, things take an awkward turn at an R-rated movie. Samantha's Boyfriend", listening to John causes Tim to overdo keeping a watchful eye on Samantha and her boyfriend. Jen's Birthday", when Jen and Greg hire Clementine as a part-time nanny for Lark and invite her to join them for dinner, the waitress Anne Bedian mistakes Jen for Lark's grandmother.
The Escape Room", a questionable company that John hired to set up an escape room in his house also steals a large portion of the house's contents. The Lost Ticket", Matt grows frustrated with Colleen when she blames a valet for stealing her lottery ticket. In "1st Short of Christmas", Greg's enjoyment of some classic music on the radio gets recorded by Matt.
In "2nd Short of Christmas", during Tyler and Clementine's Christmas party at their tiny house , Joan gets crowd surfed. In "3rd Short of Christmas", John donates more to charity than he initially intended. In "4th Short of Christmas", Matt gets his siblings to help in making a new version of a childhood photograph. In "5th Short of Christmas", Joan's robotic vacuum cleaner gets depressed and destroys itself. In "6th Short of Christmas", Jen's fireplace chimney has a "bee hole".
In "8th Short of Christmas", Sophia drinks some leftover eggnog that was spiked for the earlier party. In "9th Short of Christmas", Lark receives a playhouse formerly a metal dog cage after her parents realize that the very large dog that was going to be a gift for her was unsuitable.
In "10th Short of Christmas", Samantha receives a plane ticket for her to attend a summer art school in France. In "11th Short of Christmas", Heather receives cherry-themed presents. Romancing the Joan", the whole family surprises Joan at her book reading, to her chagrin.
The Chicken and the Egg", when Sophia asks Matt and Colleen about having children, an animated sequence featuring the whole family as farm animals reveals that they have been struggling to have a baby. Tim Hires a Nurse", Heather interferes with Tim's hiring process at the office. Emergency", Heather calls Matt when she thinks she's having a heart attack for him to take her to the hospital. The Interview", Greg calls Matt when he needs help to manage medicated John and Joan during Greg's important scheduled videocall.
Baby Driver", a telemarketer's call to Matt ends with Matt passing the bag to Tim and Samantha who also fail. Stolen Lunch", when Colleen calls Matt, the bag accidentally get swapped with Dougie's booby-trapped lunchbag. Jen Gets Goosed", when Jen sings in Tyler's band, Funeral Goose, she gets caught up in the excitement and creates an awkward situation for him.
Silent Auction", Matt donates one of his paintings to a silent auction for Tim's medical charity. Beer Buddies", John and Greg decide to brew beer together.
John's John", after the Hughes family moves from John and Joan's home back into their own repaired home, a delivery mix-up results in John and Joan accidentally receiving the fancy Japanese toilet Tim ordered for himself.
A Close Shave", Sophia decides to shave her legs. Jen and Greg Don't Want to Party", when Greg and Jen's crazy next-door neighbors invite them to a party, Greg makes up a lie so they can get out of attending. Hair Today, Pregnant Tomorrow", Matt and Colleen discover they need to give up some medications for hair and for mood to increase their chances of having a child. Joan Vents", with John's help, Tyler listens in on a therapy session between Clementine and Joan to see if she still has feelings for him.
Tyler and Clementine get back together. Greg's Ride", when Matt drives Greg to a job interview, they encounter a few bizarre obstacles that jeopardize getting him there on time. Jen's Parents", Jen and Greg decide to take turns dealing with her annoying parents, Dr. When Junious Met Wandy", Sophia digs up disturbing information when she investigates the family lineage.
Coupon War", Colleen cashes in the many "love coupons" Matt has given her as gifts over the years. Greg's New Job", Greg tries to fit in with his new young coworkers but takes things too far. The Cute One", when Sophia feels like she is no longer the cutest kid in the Short family, she tries frantically to regain her status.
The Necklace", Joan gives Jen a beautiful necklace, forgetting she already gave it to Heather for her Sweet 16 , and now she has to get it back. Pageant", Colleen babysits Lark, and Jen comes home to find Lark dolled up in Colleen's old pageant dress. Joan's Bike", Joan's bike is stolen from the driveway so she enlists Matt, Greg and Tim to join her in tracking it down.